Radical Racer the Mau
by RacerMau
Summary: Formerly Racer Makes Phinbella! Racer is the child of Puss and Kitty. With her epic skills, she's gonna start Phinbella from thin air. And hunt down a deadly snake. At the same time!
1. Racer's Past

**Hello everyone and welcome to this story! So far I haven't found a good title, but it will come! Just so you know, this is based off a DREAM I had. That is why it is all medieval, and why it is a P&F and P in B crossover!**

"Kitty, you do realize that we would not be very relaxed if we continued to live in Spain? Sooner or later Commadonte will find reason to arrest us for our past, er, excursions."

" I see the logic in your words, Puss. The question is where we will go to."

"Well, there is that old country not far from Spain. It has stood since the Middle Ages. Nothing should bother us there."

"And what is the name of this country you believe will bring us peace?"

"It is a place called Yeolde."

Surely no one, cat or not, would take pleasure in tracking a poisonous snake. But Racer had this taste for adventure she had inherited from her father.

Puss had decided that Kitty seemed more important to him than his previous relationships. Since they were now together, they had ran off to a country called Yeolde, after its medieval towns that had stood since the Middle Ages. For three years Yeolde was their home away from home, with its good food and wine, noble inhabitants, and striking architecture.

During those years they also went through something new to them: parenthood. Their only kitten, Racer had always been a little furball of energy. Right away she had opened her eyes and started moving. There was never a moment when she wasn't up and active. Racer was also very beautiful. She was a shiny silver, darker towards her back and lighter on her belly. Black spots danced across her fur. Racer's eyes, a dazzling teal, were the cherry on top.

Puss and Kitty taught her all that they knew, from sword fights and dance offs, to acting adorable and impressing tomcats. They always were having fun together. No one could argue anything different; Puss and Kitty were the best parents Racer could have had.

Although their bonds were something that was supposed to last forever, sadly, they didn't. As the trio was about to celebrate their third full year in Yeolde, a tragedy occurred. Kitty and Racer were cat-napped by barbarian like thugs, who had participated in too many world records regarding Yeolde's famous Ye Olde Wine. Puss had gone after them, tried to stop the cat-nappers and save his family. But he never found them.

Racer was sold in an auction as a way of money. She was the most expensive thing ever to have been in a Yeolde auction, as she was a mau cat. Kitty was taken back to Spain, and never escaped Commadonte's watchful eye. Puss, having given up and very depressed, withdrew to a swamp where he later met Shrek.

But Racer escaped from the resident that bought her, and had been defending her home ever since.

**What a backstory! But, it does show how Puss got from Spain to... where Shrek lives [I don't know where that is, I've never seen Shrek! 8) ]**


	2. Racer's Mission

_1200. Thats how many villages had been poisoned by Cobalt. He is a menace, a demon. He tricks everyone he comes across with his pretty colors and wonderous flexibility. But under those glittering scales, there is a sly snake. I must find a messenger with great skill and an even better background, so that the remaining towns will be warned. But who shall I send?_

_-Joseph Wallbrick's Journal_

"That was the last time we heard of him, Racer" said Francis Margonom The Great. When he was a boy he was Joseph's apprentice. Now he was retired. Ever since Joseph had disappeared 4 week ago, Francis had been looking for such a messenger. The 17th volunteer he had met up with seemed perfect. Though he didn't know it, Francis was saying the words that would turn the tide for Yeolde: "Joseph still needs a messenger. Will you accept this challenge to defend your country?

"Yes. In fact, I think I will enjoy this mission!" was what Racer answered.

"Alright Racer, there are 300 towns left without a victim of Cobalt, but since it is pretty improbable that you will warn them all before he finds them first, you will start with five important buildings in the country of Yeolde. It would also be even more improbable that the author would be able to write about all of them in this story. So there will be maybe five more chapters to go. Hey, I think I just broke the fourth wall there, Racer!" Margonom finished.

Racer finally had a chance to speak. " Five buildings sounds like a good start to me, and yes Margonom, the air around us does look a bit cracked."

"Well, since we are on the same page, I will give you your locations to go to. They are:

The Royal Court

Marie's Kid's Playcenter

Garcia and Shapiro Lofts on the Lake

The Wine Shack

and Ye Olde Bank.

Of course, remembering these locations should not be part of the job. I mean, there's a good chance of forgeting their names. So, to make things easier, I will write them for you on this spare paper."

"You know Margonom, I am perfectly capable of not only writing words but also remembering things."

" No Racer, I insist."

"Well, alright then, Margonom"

Margonom finished writing and handed Racer the small, yellow slip of paper. Unfortunately, Margonom has worse handwriting than Doof's singing voice. So Racer had better not forget the buildings since Margonom's little reminder was so illegible.

"Good luck, Racer. I know you'll catch Cobalt." And so, Racer set off to the Royal Court.


	3. Courts and Kids

Racer skidded to a halt, panting. She had wanted to reach the Royal Court as fast as she could. Now, Racer found herself staring up at a tall, magnificent building. Racer had hurried because on the way to the court, she discovered the impact Cobalt had on the town.

_"Excuse me sir, do you know where the Royal Court is?"_

_"Why do you want to go there, cat? I'm sure you have a complaint that needs attention like the rest of us have had. But right now they are too busy for passing visitors."_

_"What do think I am, a tourist? I was born here over three years ago. And what is the court busy with?"_

_" The Royal Court is currently dealing with an issue regarding an exotic snake, like usual. The judges have been taking care of cases of this topic for six weeks, since the reptile first appeared. After that, the crew gets a change of subject for once. A group of barbarian like thugs have been causing trouble again. Now listen cat, too much has been happening since Joseph dissapeared four weeks ago. I can't trust you."_

_" Well, I was sent by Margonom, Joseph's apprentice, to warn the court that Cobalt is near. I suppose I should tell any citizens about him as well. But someone seems intent on sending me on my way." Racer spoke the last sentence with somewhat of a growl._

_" You know Joseph and Margonom? Sorry cat, why didn't you say that before? I know I haven't treated you like I once would have, but ever since Cobalt showed up its been hard to know who to trust. He's had such an impact on us, most people are hiding indoors. I'm just out to pick up bread. By the way, I'm Phil!" _

_" It is a pleasure to meet you Phil, but can you just give me the directions?"_

_" Follow this main road. Don't go down any streets that are branching off. And you'll know the Royal Court when you see it."_

_" Thank you Phil!" Racer called over her shoulder as she sped away." __I better get there soon", Racer thought to her self. "If Cobalt is keeping the people indoors, I'd say he's not a good influence on Yeolde."_

Racer scrabbled at the Court doors, trying to open them. She was plenty strong, but the doors seemed to be made out of solid concrete. " Oh, they are made from concrete. How does anyone get in? The judges must all have personal gymnasiums if they can get past these." But as soon as the words left her mouth, Racer figured out how to get in. The doors were made from concrete, like she had pointed out to herself, but they were also locked. She took her longest, sharpest claw and stuck it inside the keyhole. A faint click was heard by Racer's excellent ears, then without warning, the doors flew inward. A loud bang anounced the feline's entry.

It was obvious that there had been a great arguement before Racer's graceful entrance. Everyone stopped their shouting to stare at the Egytian Mau. " Uh" was all that she managed to say. Racer straightened up, and tried again. " Everyone! Cobalt is coming!"

The room went into a panicked uproar. Most of the crowd bolted out of the room, shooting past the poor, embarrassed cat.

"What did you do that for?" a judge shouted, quite furious. "We were in the middle of a very important case, and you, you nasty cat, had to scare them off. Wait, did you say... what you just said?"

"That Cobalt is coming?" Racer asked. By now, her fur was fully inflated. The response to her message wasn't promising.

The very strict judge fainted. "I was supposed to alert the Royal Court that Cobalt was coming, but now I am starting to dislike my job."Racer stated, pretty much summing things up.

"Sorry about that, kitty, Mr. _ is a very strict person. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Well, spreading the word about Cobalt was why I came here, and I've already done that. But can you give me directions to Marie's Kids Playcenter?"

**Mr. _ still needs a name. So far, the ONLY name I have is Mr. Fainter from a GUEST called Sunny-Shiny. I know that I had only wanted member's names at first, so that I could favorite them, feature them here and on my profile, and maybe PM them. But, if there are no member's names ( or if they aren't good which is unlikely ;) then Mr. Fainter will be the winner!**


End file.
